Alopecia: A Bittersweet Diagnosis

This week I had my first appointment at the LRI with the Dermatologist to discuss my hair loss. I had waited just over 3 months for this appointment after pushing for a referral with my GP (who to be honest I have found quite useless. I hate to use the word useless but when I went they literally just printing off an internet page of information that I had already read myself and could not confirm an alopecia diagnosis). Anyway so my appointment finally came around and I got to see a dermatologist… for what I don’t know. I can honestly say I had no idea what I was hoping for but the one thing I did get was confirmation! An actual diagnosis of Alopecia Areata.

I am at present in two minds about how this appointment went. Those close to me will quite truthfully state that I have not said much about it and if I am honest they are right and that is because I just don’t know what to say or feel right now. I was told during my appointment that the possible treatments; 1. Topical steroid cream on the hair loss area, would not be any good because of the extent of hair loss and the adverse effects aren’t very nice and 2. Injections, which would require the time to go into hospital regularly which is not something I have the time to do! The dermatologist also stated that although these treatment may help trigger some regrowth it is very likely that once these treatments stop the hair would all fall out again and basically I have to wait and see what will happen.

I am writing this all down here as I find it so much easier to express what I want to say through written words and I feel there are people out there that need to hear what I have to say which ultimately is I am okay. I am sad for the loss of a part of me but I have great motivation in not letting this condition take all of me and that is my daughter! I have good and bad days. Some days I look in the mirror and I feel all kinds of emotions. Sometimes I am sad for the loss of my “looks”, some days I am angry about the lack of control I have in this condition, but most days I think “Fuck it” what will be will be.

Thank you for reading and thank you to my amazing friends and family for the overwhelming support and love. I love you all.

I wish I knew about all the support for alopecia when I was diagnosed at age four.:

Unfortunately I don’t know the original source for this image but I thought it was relevant to how I feel right now! I got the image here!