Goodbye 2018, Hello 2019 ðŸ’•

I know for certain that I am happy to see the back of 2018. It has for me seen more lows than highs and I am feeling excited at what 2019 will bring my family and I.

We started the year on what should have been a high. I gave birth to Cassius early on in January (almost 6 weeks before his due date) much to my surprise. What should have been a wonderful time of spending time with my second born soon spiralled into me becoming someone I didn’t recognise. I was diagnosed in April 2018 with Post Natal Depression (but more on that later). Also in January my maternal Grandmother was diagnosed with cancer. Something that I don’t think any of us thought was possible, although of course it is. It can happen to any of us. February and March, I’ll be honest they hold no significance to me. As I sit here and write I literally cannot recall a single event that happened! The days all merged and I plodded along, ignoring the darkness that was brewing inside me and separating me from my children and family and everyone to be honest.

April arrived. I celebrated my 27th birthday. Something I was less than enthusiastic about. Then two of our (mine and Luke’s) oldest friends got married. Luke was best man and I have never felt so emotionally disconnected to an event like this. This was my breaking point. The next day I confessed to Luke how I had been feeling and went to the doctors and began my recovery. From then things began to get better.

In May, we celebrated my Grandma’s 70th birthday, even in the thick of intense chemotherapy she was still beautiful and joyous to be around.

Spring turned into Summer and wow! What a Summer it was! A summer spent with lots of family time and time outdoors! Something Aoife in particular relishes in. As July approached I began to think about returning to work. I’ll be honest I love what I do for a living and wanted to get back into it. A part time position was being advertised and it was within walking distance. Winner! I went for the interview despite and despite my lack of experience in that particular area I got the job! I started in September and on my return from the Christmas break I will be full time. I am very much looking forward to it. Anyway, a job meant looking for childcare and fortunately I managed to find a wonderful childminder who the kids adore and certainly made my transition back to work a million times better. Also in July, I saw one of my oldest friends get married and in stark contrast to the last wedding I had been to I had an amazing time. I drove as had to get back to the kids and still had a fantastic time!

Summer faded into Autumn. Felt like such a long summer as September and even the beginning of October the weather was so mild. In the October half term we went on a family holiday to Mablethorpe and it was just the break we needed. It was great to get a bit of sea air.

November saw Aoife turning 3 years old. Still can’t get my head around that! Then as December came about I looked forward to some time off to spend with my family. Christmas to me is all about family.

I’m heading into 2019 full of positivity and happiness. I am ready to wean myself off the Anti depressants I am taking. I am feeling happy in my own skin for the first time in a long time and I am looking to seeing what 2019 has in store for my family and I.


Siobhan x